hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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