How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
