i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
