So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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