All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
did you just send me my own nude
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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