Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
