i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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