1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
