We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
