He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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