Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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