And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
