I think my fart just growled at me.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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