We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
