is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
