i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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