he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
