Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
