Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
