mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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