butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
