The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize