he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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