I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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