Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
