Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
