Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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