did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
