my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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