I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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