Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we made out on top of his cat.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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