I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
