I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
