That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
