Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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