At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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