They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
