Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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