absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
