More tranny stories later!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
