my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
