you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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