How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
