so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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