I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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