i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
