I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The adults are the big ones right?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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