Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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