How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
