she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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