I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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