I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she peed on how many people?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
