I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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