A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
