I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
