How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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