she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
