my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
