Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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