I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
