Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
