I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
