he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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