I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
