Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
