The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
