A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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