What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
