The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
