dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
