Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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